You've found the perfect house and you're ready to make your offer — but other buyers are interested too. Should you include a personal letter telling the sellers how much you love their home? It's worth understanding the risks before you do.
A heartfelt note can tug at a seller's heartstrings — but the very same lines can quietly reveal information the law protects. Look closely:
None of these lines is written with bad intent — and that's exactly the problem. Letters, photos, and videos can disclose protected characteristics without you ever meaning to.
A heartfelt statement could help your offer stand out — and that's precisely the danger. It introduces the possibility that a seller will choose one buyer over another based on a personal connection, so other buyers may be excluded regardless of the merits of their offer.
Suppose a seller picks a buyer due to personal preference and rejects a buyer who belongs to a protected class. In that case, the seller could inadvertently — or intentionally — commit housing discrimination.
Love letters aren't illegal. But they can lead to housing discrimination, which is against the law. The federal Fair Housing Act makes it illegal to discriminate based on:
State and local governments may add further protections, for classes such as age, gender identity, and sexual orientation:
For more on your rights and protections as a buyer, see my guide on fair housing and your home search.
Don't be surprised if your Accredited Buyer's Representative (ABR®) discourages you from writing a love letter — it's a practice that's potentially unfair and unlawful. As members of the National Association of REALTORS®, ABR® designees are obligated to uphold the REALTOR® Code of Ethics, which includes complying with all real estate laws and treating all parties to a transaction fairly and honestly.
If you still insist on sending a letter, consider asking an attorney to review it first. And keep in mind that letters can backfire for other reasons too: a seller might react negatively to an emotional plea and set your offer aside, or you might accidentally divulge something that weakens your negotiating position.
When you're negotiating to buy a home, it's best to focus on price — what you can comfortably afford — and other terms that cast your offer in the best possible light. Plan ahead and build a negotiating strategy with your buyer's rep that puts you in the strongest position to win, especially in a multiple-offer situation.
You don't need a love letter to stand out — you need a smart, well-structured offer. As your Accredited Buyer's Representative (ABR®), I'll help you craft a strategy that's competitive, compliant, and built to succeed on the merits.
Generally, no. While a heartfelt letter might tug at a seller's heartstrings, it can backfire — introducing the risk of a seller choosing one buyer over another based on personal connection, and potentially leading to housing discrimination. Many agents, including Accredited Buyer's Representatives (ABR®), discourage the practice.
Personal communications — letters, photos, and videos — can reveal information about a buyer such as religion, familial status, or national origin. If a seller then favors one buyer and rejects another who belongs to a protected class, they could inadvertently or intentionally commit housing discrimination, which is against the law.
Love letters themselves aren't illegal, but they can lead to housing discrimination, which is. The federal Fair Housing Act prohibits discrimination based on race, color, national origin, religion, sex, familial status, or disability, and many state and local laws add further protected classes such as age, gender identity, and sexual orientation.
Focus on price — what you can comfortably afford — and other terms that cast your offer in the best possible light. The strongest approach is to plan ahead and build a negotiating strategy with your buyer's representative that positions you to win the home on its merits.
Tell me about the home you're after in Las Cruces, and let's build a winning, fair-minded offer strategy together. No pressure, no obligation.